- Domestic Violence is not the reason most of them are sent to prison.
- But it is common for many to have conflicts with their families or partners.
- Studies show a relationship with their families contributes to the resilience of the former prisoner returning as a citizen.
- However, the expectations of the former prisoner and the family frequently differ.
- Still many hold onto hope for their relationships with families
- This is true even though their family relationships are strained.
Since October 2005, the Northwest Michigan Prisoner Reentry Initiative (MPRI) Steering Team has been developing resources to help answer this question.
One of their strategies is a partnership with Women's Resource Center (WRC) of Traverse City.
This is an ideal partnership since the two organization share the common goals of preventing violence and improving community safety by preventing crime in Northwest Michigan.
Future postings will explore:
- What responsibilities do fathers when they are returning to the community?
- What reasons do fathers give for wanting to be responsible?
- What are others doing to help fathers succeed at becoming responsible?
- What are some of the barriers to fathers' success?
8 comments:
Hi, Wayward Son
You're not alone with this kind of experience. We hear it often, even from men who are in prison.
It is common for them to say they were lonely as kids and that they don't want their own kids to have the same problems.
But how do you help someone out with these problems?
Accountability is a good thing. Do you see any value in an ongoing conversation between the returning parent and the family members who were left in the community?
I like the idea of a father "reestablishing himself" in the community and with his family after he comes out of prison.
That is very difficult for everyone involved. For instance, the emotional needs of the father are pretty intense at this time.
Of course, so are those of the children and the other adults in the family.
The idea of everyone sitting down for dinner together almost seems absurd. But, in the minds of many, that is the hope.
So, what do returning fathers need to know about their children and families? The answer to this question might help others learn from the example.
You hit the nail on the head as they say. It is so easy for fathers to forget that their children and spouses or partners have hurt and angry feelings.
In their hurry to fix things when they're back in the community, father's forget that their children and spouses or partners are cautious because they don't want to be hurt again.
Sometimes, the fathers are impatient and focused on their own need to feel better. When this happens, they may actually be making the same mistakes in their relationships with their children that they did before they went to prison.
Being in a hurry can make things worse. It can lead to misunderstandings and more hurt feelings.
That's why it may be a good idea for fathers who are returning from prison to have limited contact with their children at first.
Of course, some circumstances prevent them from having contact at all. When it is advisable and possible, then opportunities to gradually get familiar with each other again is often wise.
Once in awhile, families and their children stay in contact with prisoners. They do so by writing, making phone calls, and visiting.
I'm left wondering what your thoughts are about the value of visitations are to the children and families of incarcerated fathers.
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