Children and Their Parents

Children depend on their parents to help them meet their needs. Children also depend on their parents to help them learn how to meet their needs.

If a parent is incarcerated, children find barriers to communicating with that parent. Some of those barriers are the:

• institutional policies and practices,
• child's beliefs about what has happened,
• parent's sense of responsibility, and
• other caregivers in the family.

So what happens to the relationship between parent and child when a parent is incarcerated?

Since the relationships children have with their fathers are disrupted by the crime that led to an arrest, conviction, and imprisonment, the needs of both the child and the parent require attention.

For example, fathers who are incarcerated need to learn the

• effects of their incarceration on their children,
• effects of the crimes they committed on their children,
• consequences of the incarceration on themselves, and
• how to prevent those events from recurring.

The children of incarcerated parents need to learn

• how to cope with the trauma of loss, and change,
• what it all means to the family,
• who is responsible for what, and
• what it means about themselves.
  

Keeping this in mind, fathers who want to be responsible also need to understand and act on co-parenting principles.

In other words, the children have mothers too. Regardless what the father has done, has learned, or changes, the children still have mothers.

Responsible fathers learn to face the challenges of co-parenting the children. This is true whether they are reunited with the children after incarceration or not. In other words, both the mother and father are parents in the child's mind.

More on co-parenting in another posting.

PR: wait... I: wait... L: wait... LD: wait... I: wait... wait... C: wait... SD: wait...

Why Responsible Fatherhood in Northwest Michigan?

Each year, approximately 265 men and women are sent to prison from the ten counties in Northwest Michigan . For many of them, it is the second time.

• Domestic Violence is not the reason most of them are sent to prison.
• But it is common for many to have conflicts with their families or partners.
• Studies show a relationship with their families contributes to the resilience of the former prisoner returning as a citizen.
• However, the expectations of the former prisoner and the family frequently differ.
• Still many hold onto hope for their relationships with families
• This is true even though their family relationships are strained.

So, how does an unemployed father who has one or more felony convictions act responsibly?

Since October 2005, the Northwest Michigan Prisoner Reentry Initiative (MPRI) Steering Team has been developing resources to help answer this question.

One of their strategies is a partnership with Women's Resource Center (WRC) of Traverse City.

This is an ideal partnership since the two organization share the common goals of preventing violence and improving community safety by preventing crime in Northwest Michigan.

Future postings will explore:

• What responsibilities do fathers when they are returning to the community?
• What reasons do fathers give for wanting to be responsible?
• What are others doing to help fathers succeed at becoming responsible?
• What are some of the barriers to fathers' success?

If you have questions you'd like answered, feel free leave your question in the comment window. I'll see what I can do to answer it or find someone else who can.

Our Purpose

What is a responsible father?

Responsible fatherhood does not mean fatherhood at any price. In some circumstances, fathers are separated from their families and children for safety reasons. When this happens, the responsibilities of the fathers may continue, but in new forms. Here you'll:

• find news about how men are working together to prevent violence in the home and the community.
• learn how you can contribute to the lives of those who have been affected by the loss of a father.
• discover what these men who want to change their lives so they may become responsible fathers for their children.
• learn how to help men restore their dignity and contribute to their children's lives.

You're invited to contribute your ideas and be part of the change in the lives of these families.

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